Saturday, July 12, 2008

Home Two Weeks...







Sam is carving out his niche in our family and our hearts. He continues to be a mostly happy/giggly little peanut, taking in new experiences with enthusiasm, taking in food with much the same enthusiasm.

This week we visited our friends who have a farm, and he and Zoe had a great time playing with the little chickens, kittens, and horse (did I mention it's a growing horse farm? How cool is that?) Our gracious hosts (thanks, Kathleen, Kate Marie, John!) let Sam play to his heart's content at the horse water trough. Poor little John ended the day on a really low note: ulna/radius fracture, courtesy of that skateboard. We're thinking about you, John, and I'm guessing it won't slow you down much, PLUS you'll be the coolest kid in school because you'll have a CAST.

Sam had his first medical checkup this week, and happily he passed with flying colors. We had a long wait in the waiting room (what is UP with doctors? ha) with spilled cheerios and two bored, restless kids, but we all survived and Sam left with a smile on his face because a lollipop was in his mouth, and the blood draw seemed to have left his memory.

Zoe is doing her best at adjusting, with frequent fluctuations between enthusiastic love for her brother and weeping about the "only child" status she has lost. It's hard on her: instant brother who can get into her stuff, has different rules than she has, etc. We are trying to give her lots of love and support, and for the most part she is enjoying the "big sis" role. Just making adjustments, just like we are.

The communication is still the challenge, obviously. Lots of pointing, attempts we're making at sign language, a few meltdowns (Sam and/or mine). He's got a few words down now (Mommy, ball, book, no, bye-bye), and hopefully in two more weeks, we'll add to the list. But we're doing oodles better than we expected, and feel terribly blessed to have this animated, precious little boy. We'll work out the kinks!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Getting the rhythm...




OK, maybe we don't have the rhythm of the 4-member family down yet, but we can feel the beat of it, and we're closer today than yesterday.

This kid just amazes us. That glue that had him permanently attached to my hip those first few days has started to dissolve a bit. He is venturing around the house with a bit of comfort, playing happily with his toys, and his meltdowns have decreased...unless you count the one today that was triggered by my inability to interpret that the word "MEEEEAAAHHHH" is apparently the Vietnamese word meaning "I would like more Kix cereal please." He is fine with the crib now, which means we got a good night's rest last night. Hooray!

The major change I see in our future is an increase in our grocery bills. WOW. This kid eats. All the time. A lot of food all the time. It is heartbreaking and endearing all at once to see the pure joy he gets from food. At lunch he put a particularly savory bite in his mouth, shut his eyes, and smiled blissfully, saying "Mmmmmm!" (a Vietnamese word, loosely translated, meaning "Mmmmmm!")

He was happy to visit with his buddy Isaac this afternoon, who dropped by to say hello. (Isaac's mom drove.) He now has two cute little helicopters, which he immediately raised into the air and said, "VRRROOOOOOMMMM!", which is Vietnamese, I think, for, well, you guessed it.

We didn't want Sam to get the impression that Mommy cooks all the time (HA!), so it was important that he got the restaurant routine down as well. So tonight we had a wonderful outing with family to Shorty Small's. He got to meet Uncle Tommy, Aunt Nancy, and family cousins, Jim and Carol. He grinned a lot, and ate...a lot. Mainly Poppy's food, but some of Mimi's as well. Happy kid, full tummy.

So a rhythm is developing...it may very well fall apart tomorrow, and we'll have to back up and regroup with whatever difficulty he will undoubtably have. I don't fool myself into thinking it's smooth sailing ahead, but these last few days have made it very easy to absolutely fall in love with this little boy, our son.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

HOME SWEET HOME!



What an incredible journey...30+ hours of travel: Hanoi to HongKong, HongKong to LA (13 1/2 hours), LA to Dallas, Dallas to LR. (and LR to Conway---WOW, he didn't like that carseat..the first he'd ever seen of one...) There were countless checkpoints, customs, immigration...it all ran together. Somewhere in there a fairly pleasant man handed Brian some paperwork and congratulated us on Sam now being a US citizen. Woo-hoo!
We shared the trip with the O'Connors, who had all the same fun with Liam and Ben. We couldn't have asked for any better travel buddies! And my parents, well...how could we have done it without them? Well, we couldn't have. They were perpetually stepping up during our struggles--claiming luggage when we were stuck in immigration so we wouldn't miss our connection, entertaining Zoe or Ben or Sam depending on what we needed. And aside from their help, it means so much that they endured the journey to get a better idea of Sam's world. Pictures and words just can't seem to capture the experience fully.

Had a terrific surprise at the Dallas airport...my sister Stacy and her family just moved to the Dallas area (Heath) last week. We had abandoned hopes of her being able to see us during the connection due to time constraints getting us through security, etc. Well, we walk off the plane and there she is! She had bought a one-way ticket to Minneapolis just to be able to get to the gate area and meet her new nephew and visit with us! She brought little goodies for the kids, and thanks to sweet Aunt Stacy who brought Smarties for Sam to try, he had a giant sugar high that kept us (and the rest of the plane) entertained until we landed in LR.
What a warm welcome at the airport from so many friends and family! Luckily, Sam was still up from his Smarties high, and we had our Starbucks buzz from Dallas, so we were all, at least temporarily, UP for the occasion! The crash came later...

Mimi and Poppy, Brian's parents, held down the fort here while we were gone, and had the most scrumptious food stocked in the fridge when we came home. Thanks to them, our dog, the fish, and my lemon trees all looked happy and healthy when we returned!

Trying to recover from jet lag and regain our footing today. Sam is perpetually stuck to my hip--happy about that attachment! And he's eating like a wildman...we got Mexican takeout last night (surprise..we were giddy about real chips and salsa) and I suspect Sam would have chowed on that too, if he hadn't fallen asleep at the table. Lots of adjustments ahead, but we're happy to be making them!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Mommy! We're GOING HOME!!!


It's official! We have Sam's visa in hand as of 4:30 this afternoon! We also have airline tickets that tell us we'll end up home in LR at 8:20 Saturday morning, AA flight 3735 from Dallas. We'll have to take their word for it, because we'll likely be in some kind of psychotic stupor by that time, and we might be in Peoria without realizing it! Strangely, we arrive in LA before we leave HongKong by reading the clock. I suspect, however, it won't feel like it!

Happy happy day! We're ready to get Sam--and ourselves HOME!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

More Hanoi, more Mexican food hallucinations...





We've had two nice, slow, lazy days, if anything in Hanoi can be considered slow. We've spent time at the pool with Zoe and Sam (and Ben, with Liam happily supervising). We've gathered up food from a local market (Dad and I tried our best to pretend we were in some Rick Steves documentary..getting a taste of the local flavor, as he says. It really didn't work too well. It looks so quaint and charming on the Travel Channel because YOU CAN'T SMELL THINGS ON TV.) In any case, we bought milk in little cartons that were sitting on the hot sidewalk (what's up with that? It tastes ok, but why do I have to keep my milk in the fridge at home?) We later discovered a very clean supermarket in the same building as our hotel later. Ah well. Rick Steves would have been proud of us...

Later in the morning, Mom and Dad and Brian visited the Hoa Lo Prison, aka the "Hanoi Hilton", where John McCain and others were held captive during the Vietnam war. Our hotel is actually on the grounds of most of the old prison grounds. So very sad, the stories contained there; so surprising how enduring the human spirit can be.

We ventured out in the late afternoon to stroll around the lake and went to the water puppet show, an absolute hit with Sam and Zoe. Sam clapped and stood up and was just captivated by the music and the puppets. The water puppet show is a traditional form of Vietnamese entertainment. It was a bittersweet moment for Brian and me--Sam enjoyed it so very much. We are taking him to a new life, a great life, but he is giving up something too: part of his heritage. We hope to help him preserve his pride in his people--people we have observed to be hearty and resilient, and with warm, generous hearts.

We had a pleasant morning with another Conway connection! We fortuitously were able to link up with our friend Lance Kershner, who lives and teaches in Singapore. He adopted Samantha, a beautiful little Vietnamese princess, about a year ago. We got to know him through his parents, patients and friends of ours who shared his story with us before we even embarked on OUR Sam journey. They all happened to be in Hanoi these two days visiting Samantha's orphanage, and we were able to introduce Sam to Sam! Special moments!

Brian and I were able to stroll around some of Hanoi this evening without our dear sweaty children stuck to our hips. Zoe and Sam didn't seem to mind us slipping out for a couple of hours, as they had full grandparent attention. We enjoyed the evening: amazing art galleries, charming shopowners, and of course, the scooters.

Sam is continuing to settle in with us. He is a really happy kid much of the time. Lest I paint too rosy a picture, his heart-wrenching crying episodes still punctuate the day...often precipitated by either a minor disappointment or even nothing we can determine, he just cries inconsolably, almost in his own little sad world, for 10 to 15 minutes...then seems to gather himself together again, or falls asleep. It is so terribly different than the 2-year-old tantrums I had with Zoe. It's just heartwrenching. I can only imagine the frustration and confusion his mind must have. We just love on him and know it will get easier for him. We look forward to being home and giving him a routine.

All things look good for our departure here on Friday night! We have our visa interview tomorrow early afternoon, and are supposed to be able to pick it up at 5 pm. If all things work correctly, we should be home to LR on Saturday morning! YIPPEEE!!!!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Our Hanoi Home.




Whew! What a day! We just got checked into our hotel here in Hanoi--the Somerset. It is a very nice place, and after the man came and fixed our air conditioner, it seemed MUCH nicer. Zoe had no complaints because she was asleep all the way from the airport.

So, a first for Sam, flying in a plane. He seemed to do just fine...I think the high altitude made him giddy and happier! He was an entertaining little card for most of the 2 hour flight. Or perhaps it was his new-found love: a giant can of Planter's cashews. The kid has munched on them all day long, and seems to have such joy from having them handy. At some point he discovered that he could put a few "spare" cashews in the front pocket of his overalls, and all afternoon you could see him reach in and grab a little snack. We'd heard of this "food hoarding" phenomenon that is fairly typical for orphanage kids, but it is really something to witness first hand.

Yesterday was a good day--we hung out with the kids in the morning at the hotel. Very strange, calling them "the kids". We've always had "the kid". It feels great to say it! (fast forward a little while: Hey, do you think my parents will keep the kids this weekend? ha) We sent Mom and Dad out to experience the town, and they had an exciting rickshaw ride around town. Mom looked a bit weary when they returned...so of course we let them have a relaxing afternoon in....with the kids. In the afternoon, I took Brian to experience "the market". I really expected him to be disinterested (even though it was a a cultural experience, it was still SHOPPING, not a popular thing with him). HOWEVER, he surprised me! The guy haggled with shopkeepers for watches, snake wine (!), and all variety of other items...I hate to admit I really had a hard time keeping up with him.

We had a dinner planned with Dillon staff and all of the traveling families last night. It was a beautiful restaurant, and there was lots of authentic Vietnamese cuisine. Sam used the chopsticks much more skillfully than I could manage (did they teach him this at the orphanage?) We didn't last terribly long...somehow, little kids and an organized evening meal just don't end up making for a relaxing dining experience.

This morning, I spent the morning hanging out with the kids in the room, trying to pack. (One might ask, where was Brian? The guy went BACK to the market...apparently my dad had experienced the fresh meat side of the market and told Brian about it, and I guess he felt like he had missed out on the visual and olfactory experience there. Because of this experience, I believe my dad is now considering the positive aspects of vegetarianism.) There was this one fairly brief but sweet time in the room this morning where Ben and Zoe were coloring in their coloring books on the floor, and Sam was arranging bathroom toiletries. They were all lined up so happily on the floor playing together. Sweet, sweet, sweet!

The flight here was fine, but did anyone ever mention how flying with two kids is infinitely more complicated than one? The two hour flight was just fine, but we kept thinking: HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS FOR A 15 HOUR FLIGHT? EEK!

Tomorrow I think we get to take in the Hanoi sights a bit--I believe our visa interview is Thursday. Loc, our nice Dillon staff member here, feels fairly sure we'll have the visa in hand Thursday afternoon...so MAYBE, just MAYBE we might get to come home a few days earlier. We'll see! Hanoi exploration tomorrow.

Thanks for everyone's prayers and kind thoughts! We are hallucinating about Mexican food....

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Sensory overload!




OK, more for us than for Sam. HE seems to be doing just super. We're still reeling from a day of sensory overload, otherwise known as: the MARKET. What a crazy fun day we had!

We woke up to a little boy who seems to be feeling much better. I mean, MUCH better. It is amazing to see this little guy open up and show us his personality, little by little. This process seems to be facilitated by the antics of Ben and Zoe, who quickly taught him the joy of jumping on the bed (Yes, well. We'll unteach bad habits later. It was just so darn CUTE!)

First thing this morning after breakfast,Brian went with the other husbands to pick up Sam's new passport, and Mom and Dad and Sam and I headed for a walk to the open air market. We browsed along the shops on the way there, and were so well entertained. Scooters have this ability to be everywhere: driving down the sidewalk, parked IN shops, etc. We found one of the most precious linen shops with cute little embroidered everything and, of course, helpful staff! Then we meandered some more, ending up at the market: narrow aisles and stacks and piles of, well, everything: clothes, trinkets, purses, and food. Lots of strong-smelling food! No square inch wasted in this place: At one booth we saw people having their nails done at the same place they were selling shrimp. Nice combo! Everyone so very anxious to sell you things, and it was a little overwhelming for the munchkins, and Papaw.
So I brought Sam home, and Zoe came back shortly with the grandparents. She was quite happy with her purchase of a little Vietnamese doll and a lovely fan.

We got back and Brian took over for a couple of hours for Zoe/Sam watching--Mom and I went back and did some serious shopping. What a fun time! We ran out of energy, which, to those of you who know us, is really saying something.

Sam napped a bit this afternoon. He's doing great most of the time. Happy, giggly, easy-going. Who would have known a ziploc bag and plastic cups would be so darned fascinating? He has had a couple episodes we struggle to interpret--anguishing, back-arching crying spells, that usually turn off as quickly as they arrive. We aren't sure if they are related to his tummyache yesterday, or if they are part of his own "sensory overload" that he's experiencing. His sleep is often very violent: tossing about, unable to settle in. Again, we can only guess the cause, and try to love on him till the stormclouds pass.

Funny moment this evening. We ordered him a plate of chicken and veggies and rice. We were spooning it in his mouth, bite by bite, and he started pointing at a little spoon...by the end of the meal, he had moved two little bowls in front of him and was quite adeptly spooning in the bites himself--with his left hand, no less. We had to go get Papaw and show him how his namesake was more and more like him every day: kinda messy, thin hair on top, and a southpaw! Brian has always thought most of my disorganized, scatterbrained qualities he could blame on MY lefthandedness. I'll have to tell Sam he got it "honest"!

I'll try to post some pics in the morning, but it's dark in here and I can't find the camera cable. I better get some more sleep: who KNOWS what adventures we have in store today?

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Back in HCM!





What a crazy day yesterday: G&R, then the 8--yes, 8--hour drive back to HCM. The traffic was particularly crazy, apparently, and the rainstorm seemed to make the scooter-dodging more challenging for the driver. He didn't seem particularly stressed, but we saw our lives pass by our eyes more times than we can count!

Sam, however, was quite the trooper! I suspect it was his first ride in a vehicle EVER, but he was really quite calm during the whole trip..handled it better than we did, really. We were so tired when we arrived back at the Rex, and we decided against dinner and just went to bed. He was a little unhappy and tired, but dozed off right away and slept all night!

It was great seeing Liam and Caleb and David this morning, all being held by their proud(somewhat weary)mommies and daddies. Passport photos made (Sam crying, apparently not into the paparazzi photoshoot) He is also having some GI issues, which would make me cry too. Now he's napping, and Brian and Rob have taken Zoe and Ben to play off some energy at the tax center.

What a help Mom and Dad have been to us! They are great Zoe/Ben babysitters when we're trying to decipher some Sam issues. I don't know how we'd make it without them!
Dad's knuckles still look a little clinched after the van ride yesterday...I think he's going to take home some more aggressive driving tactics he learned.ie, passing on the right is totally fine, and passing into oncoming traffic, also totally fine, as long as you beep your horn first... The horn beep seems to have magical protective powers. Amazing!

I'll try to post some pics...we're doing better than Tricia in the technology department right this minute, because apparently Ben has taken their computer apart. I mean APART, as in, little letters and other bits were lying on the coffee table. I'm thinking the older siblings are enjoying the diversion of attention a bit! Zoe has watched more videos in the last 3 days than her whole first 5 years combined. She's loving THAT side effect of sisterdom!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Greetings from Ninh Thuan!

Hello, everyone! What an absolutely amazing last couple of days! We traveled yesterday all day to get here, and it was an experience in itself. It certainly gives us a perspective on Sam's homeland and where he started in life. We got to the hotel and checked in, and we zipped over to the orphanage about 4:30 to see Sam for the first time. I nearly had an anxiety attack on the drive there... not from the crazy driving, although that is anxiety-provoking as well, but from the realization that this little guy that we've loved for so many months was going to see us and...WHAT? perhaps not care for us so much? Who knew? Mom and Dad and Brian and Zoe and I all held hands and said a prayer as we made the short trip there. Mom and I were crying, and then....we met him.

He is the sweetest, most mild-mannered and pleasantly happy little peanut in the whole world. He was totally loving us holding him (all of us! Even Zoe!)He was giggly and seemed to take it all much better than we were!

What an amazing experience, seeing everyone's children that I recognized in an instant! Drew, Sadie, Dillon, Joseph, Layne Nhi, Payton, Bennett, Trung..they were all there! I have pics of all of them and stories to go with them.

The nannies were sweet and loving, and somewhat reserved...until I got out the pics of kids who have come home. They went crazy when they recognized pics of Isaac, Izzy, and Alex; they were all so happy that their little charges had gone on to happy lives. It was such an humbling experience being able to witness their love and dedication.

We came home emotionally and physically exhausted. Not so terribly entertained by the really, really loud Vietnamese karaoke going on at the pool outside our window, but we slept pretty hard.

I woke up at 2 am (again) and tried posting some emails and pics to moms, but apparently none of them got through. Please know, girls, that I've got lots to share with you...I'm not sure what's up with my email, but I'll keep trying. Lori, Nadra, Vietmoms, I have so much to tell you!!!

We got to love on Sam again today (guess what? he's STILL A SWEET PEANUT!) and handed out gifts to the kids. (note to future traveling moms: raisins and bubbles will make you an instant hit with all....) We're taking it easy this afternoon, but are excited about the G & R in the morning. We'll make the long trip back to HCM (with our son! did I mention that?)and get back late in the evening.

Just an amazing, amazing last couple of days. I know in so many ways the starting line is right here, but the finish line to GETTING him is so very very sweet.
Thanks for everyone's love and support. We'll keep you posted!

Monday, June 16, 2008

3 am and all is well...


 
You know, when we collapsed into bed last night, we thought we'd sleep forever. But Zoe woke me up at 2:30 telling me that she couldn't sleep anymore, and that she'd already been next door to visit my parents (!), and that she was enjoying wearing her new hot pink slippers she'd bought yesterday at the Tax Center (one word for the Tax Center: WOW.)

So here I am, knowing that today is the day we SEE our son...not in pictures, or in video snippets, or via updates provided by our agency...but in real life. There have been times in this process that Sam seemed very abstract..the paperwork, the delays, the frustrations, often seemed quite removed from a real living PERSON. Yet now, I know we're occupying the same country and the same time zone (although obviously not the same sleep schedule). Pretty heavy stuff. Obviously not the kind of thoughts that lull a mom back to sleep. So as in the case of any mom, I'll occupy myself with minutiae... until the 4 hours pass until we load up the van and head to Ninh Thuan.

Tricia and Rob and Ben have been terrific travel partners! Their previous trip to get Ben has benefited us immensely! Both kids were real troopers, and there were no unanticipated delays with any of our flights. We met up with Betsy and Nathan when we landed at Hong Kong. Nice, nice people--their Caleb is gonna have some neat parents! We also visited briefly with the Cooks (also very nice!), who have apparently taken in Vietnam for the last week or so. They'll all head towards Vinh Long and Can Tho this morning, and we'll head to Sam's province of Ninh Thuan. Then after our G&R ceremony on the 19th, we'll all meet back here at HCM and continue on together to Hanoi.

I love these 2 pics: bookends to a thrilling 2 day journey to get here..early on, Zoe and my parents, fresh and wired up on ice cream, awaiting our departure from LR. Then the last one: the setting is our beautiful rooftop restaurant at the Rex. Zoe would have been so thrilled with this huge plate of french fries, had she only been awake. Who would have thought this "becoming a sister" business would be so EXHAUSTING?

get set.....GO!!!!!

We made it here to Vietnam! We are in Ho Chi Minh City, checked into the Rex Hotel. We made the little jumps between Little Rock, Dallas, LA, Hong Kong and HCM without any real problems...plus our luggage made it, which is nice! Zoe and Ben needed extra exercise at the airports (30-plus hours just wasn't enough to wear them down)..so those moving sidewalks provided that little bit of fun!)
We'll check in soon...just wanted everyone to know that WE MADE IT!
We head out in the morning for the journey to Sam's province!

Friday, June 13, 2008

On your mark...


We're finalizing our packing--well, actually, squooshing things into side pockets, rooting around checking to see if we remembered to pack that "whatever" we meant to pack, and trying to remember all of those things that we said, "Hey, don't let us forget to take (blank)."

These last few days have been a happy blur. We have had two wonderful "surprise" showers that have got us stocked up with all things "boy." Our friends, who have been such a sustaining force through all of this, continue to amaze us with their generosity and support.

Pictured here is one of the thoughtful gestures of my wonderful friends, the Vietmoms. It is a "boy box," assembled by donations from all of them to help prepare me for the challenges of raising, from what I've been told, a totally different creature from our Zoe. Boy, oh boy! I must admit we were woefully under-prepared. Not a Barbie or a fairy or a pink plastic anything in that whole box...but many other strange and wonderful things. We are armed and ready now! Spiderman underwear, balls to sports I'm not even sure I can name, and even a genuine bug jar (thanks, Seth, for your donation!)

We have been overwhelmed and humbled by the kind gestures of our friends. Sam is truly blessed to come home to a community who is so warmly welcoming him. His life thusfar may have been less than stellar, but sunny skies are ahead, buddy.

We're flying out tomorrow early evening. We'll meet my parents and the O'Connors at the airport, and off we'll go. Vietnam won't know what's hit it! Thank you for your prayers, and Zoe would like to add her request for anyone who has traveled before: where are some restaurants with french fries? ha

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Spaz mode

We are bouncing around like jumping beans, getting everything ready!
Our flights are scheduled..and amazingly, our dear friends Tricia and her family received the SAME G&R date, although their son Liam is in a different orphanage. SO, we'll all leave out of Little Rock on the same flight, and travel together! She and hubby Rob, her 2 year old son Ben, my parents, Zoe, Brian and I will all get to enjoy the 30+ hour journey together! There may be moments, I expect, that "enjoy" may be a little too strong a word...some moments of the 15 hour LA to Hong Kong flight, perhaps...

We'll leave LR next Saturday evening (June 14th) and arrive in HCM City on Monday the 16th. We'll drive to the orphanage at Ninh Thuan (about an 8 hour trip east)the next morning and meet Sam that afternoon. (WOW!) We'll get a chance to spend time with him and the other dear children all the next day (Ninh Thuan mommies: I've got my list to keep my head straight--I'll take lots of pics and make lots of deliveries!)

Our G&R is Thursday, the 19th, and we'll head back to HCM right after that. Appointments and obligations there for a couple of days (and meeting Liam, who will be returning with his parents) and we'll all fly to Hanoi, for our visa interview. Hopefully we'll all head home on the 1st of July, arriving home to LR the morning of Wednesday, July 2nd.

This is all under the category of "best case scenario", of course. Any one of those steps could hit a snag and such, but...did I MENTION WE'RE LEAVING NEXT SATURDAY?

Hard to take it all in, but happy we're finally moving. Now: Lori, Nadra, other waiting moms...let's get you guys going, too!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Hallelujah!!!

We got it!!! Our I-600 approval arrived last night--we have permission from our government to travel and bring Sam home! We are just elated...more to follow, but just wanted to let everyone know. There aren't enough exclamation points on this keyboard to let you all know how we feel right now--but all of you who have followed with us thus far or journeyed a similar path totally understand or know this feeling. Wow. Just wow.

Friday, May 16, 2008

233 days and counting...

Wow. I didn't realize how long Sam has been waiting for us. Yesterday on our Dillon forum there was a discussion on length of time from referral to travel. I hadn't sat down and counted--at the time of our referral, the estimated waiting time was 3-6 months...we anticipated January travel, then we found out February didn't "count", then we found out our paperwork had sat on the USCIS's desk for several months due to a "communication problem" with unclaimed responsibility. Last week I got an auto-reply to another pleading email I sent to the head of the US consulate in HoChiMinh City (who grants the holy grail we're awaiting, the I600 preapproval telling us we can GO). The auto-reply informed me that she would be out of the office from May 5-27...and well...here we are.

Certainly not what we anticipated when we felt the calling to pursue adoption. I guess that can be said about many of life's adventures...not what was "anticipated". There can be blessings that can be difficult to see in those unanticipated events. It is difficult to see God's intent in these long delays, but we can only hang on for the ride. Why? Because he's our Sam. From the day of our referral in September, he became our son, and when your son is a long way away, you keep trying to get him home.

Perhaps day 233 is near the end of our wait. We hope it is. But when it comes down to it, what number do you reach that you give up? Sam is counting on us not to reach that number, so we won't.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Deep breath...regroup....


OK. Well, as many of you know, we had a tough night Monday that involved a couple of very frustrating phonecalls and emails with the US consulate in Vietnam. The email we were hoping to receive announcing our preapproval and OK to travel was actually a notice that we should hear the determination within the next 60 working days. With the date they put on that notice, that's mid June. I bottomed out and felt crushed. That finish line just keeps getting moved!

So, Brian and I decided we needed to approach things differently. Obviously our nightly emailing/phonecalling were not productive; the congressional inquiries from Vic Snyder's and Mark Pryor's offices at least thusfar haven't brought them any results either, at least not yet. And our constant obsessing definitely has taken its toll on me. So I decided to step back and take a breather for a few days, and take a less "involved" (i.e. obsessive) approach... These last few months have been frustrating, and this lack of control is infuriating!(I hear the laughs from all of you who have been or are currently on this Vietnam adoption journey.)

In any case, Sam is there and waiting on us. We believe God wants him to be part of our family. We feel as if we've done what we can to make that happen, and we've gotta pass the details and timeline off to God. (I hear God saying, "Well, FINALLY.")
Many, MANY thanks for all the prayers and support and phonecalls--many of you are in at least the same quagmire of frustration, if not worse. I pray for all of you as well.

Note the wonderful picture we got of Sam this week. He's wearing the same little overalls that he had on at his referral in September. Strangely those little pants don't seem quite as long anymore...

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

We're at Step 12!

That's the end of the Vietnam government approval process. Historically, when you hit Step 12 (and as a result got assigned a G&R date), you packed your bags and WENT.
On the US government side of the equation, we're still waiting on I600 pre-approval to travel. Last night was yet another round of email from USCIS requesting more paperwork. Without boring you to death with the details (too late for that) one of the things I had already sent them last week, and Jynger confirmed today that the other two items were re-delivered yesterday to them. SO....we wait.

There's that DNA-testing issue sitting there like the elephant in the room. Apparently our government hasn't hammered out the details yet, so we're hoping if we get pre-approval and travel before they do work them out, maybe it won't apply to us. We have nothing else to do except hope that is the case. Are we scared that this rule may hold us up for another 2 or 3 months? Heck, yes. We just hope it won't.

Two of our fellow adoptive families in this process, Lori and Nadra, are just as weary as we are...if not more so, because both of their little one's paperwork is stuck in bureaucratic paralysis at an earlier stage than ours. I'm hoping their paperwork will zoom ahead in the next week or so. It's time for Sadie, Drew, and Sam to come home.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Holding onto hope....

It's what we've got right now. Not a whole lot else...but we did hear a couple of encouraging tidbits this week.
1. The USCIS has unofficially let it be known that there will at least be SOME exceptions to the DNA testing of relinquished children. No clarification on which, but at least we hope it would include already referred children, or ones already in orphanages, or something that includes those of us stuck in limbo over the last 6 months.
2. We received a bizarre series of emails from USCIS this week, with them requesting various parts of our dossier (which we've sent them previously, but which have apparently disappeared.) We got an email Thursday night confirming that they had all of our dossier now and that it was being reviewed. It isn't exactly the Receipt of Acknowledgment, but then they've already sent us two of those and then later wrote us back telling us to ignore them. Confusing, frustrating, etc, but almost normal to us at this point. Upside: they admit to having all of our dossier, now we just wait for I600 (and travel)pre-approval from them.
3. Jynger expects our G&R date in the next couple of weeks. (decoding of adoption lingo: G&R is the giving and receiving date, the date assigned by the Vietnamese government, when we travel and the adoptive child is officially recognized as your child). Jynger says it is POSSIBLE, and I know that's not even close to PROBABLE or CERTAIN, but April could still be a possibility for travel if everything lines up in our favor.

So.....we hope, and wait. And pray some more. Thank you so much to all of you who have sent us kind words and prayers. The support has been overwhelming and sustaining to us. Sam has no idea how big his cheerleading team is here. But hopefully he will soon!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Wishing this were an April Fool's joke.

Things were really looking good for travel this month. We got word that the remaining documents of Sam's dossier had been delivered to U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, and we were at Step 10, one of the final steps of the pingpong of paperwork in Vietnam. We were happy...we were joyous....
And then.
And then this afternoon, we got an email from our agency. Jynger forwarded to us an email from USCIS, announcing a new requirement, effective today, for I-600 approval: DNA verification of the birthmother and abandoned child. Yes, that is as complicated and near-impossible for an abandoned child as it seems. Particularly for children left at orphanages months--even years earlier. There was nothing in the email stating "for all FUTURE referrals", or "exempting those poor souls who have been delayed with the previous I-600 changes we made in October." We can only hope that there is some...who am I kidding?
We're discouraged tonight. Our good news had us brushing off our knees and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. As the saying goes, it must have been an oncoming train. It feels like a sucker punch out of nowhere, and we're feeling a bit bruised by these punches over the last 6 months.
Sam, my man, know we're trying.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Some more new pics..





That's Sam on the left, obviously. He has his buddy Joseph with him in the pics (who happened to turn 2 today. Happy Birthday, Joseph!).
Brian is particularly thrilled to see that Sam is totally secure with his masculinity, since he appears to be wearing rather feminine pink hearts-and-flowers pants without any self consciousness. ha
Zoe is happy to see that her beloved frog blanket, Dodee, (that she sent to him in December) is still around. It's in the background in a nanny's lap.
The clutching of handfuls of Smarties makes me think his sweet tooth is still intact.
We're so happy to see these pics and know that soon...soon...we'll bring him home.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Easter: the season for miracles!



We got an update that our paperwork is moving! We are at the end of Step 9, which means we're getting close to the end of the paperwork journey. Sam's dossier has been compiled and the justice department is reviewing those documents and sending them to the DIA (Dept. of International Adoptions). There is at least a possibility of traveling in mid April, pending some miraculous I-600 approval (that part of the paperwork is still being processed.)

In any case, we're making some headway. Good news, tonight!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Needing an update...



We are hoping for something positive from our agency regarding our status soon. A fellow adoptive family who got their referral 5 days before we did (we got ours on September 26) got their I-600 approval yesterday. Hooray! They should be leaving in the next week or so, hopefully, when they get their G & R date. Heidi, so happy for you!

Meanwhile, we got this picture of Sam from another adoptive parent who traveled last month to get their child (Thanks, Amy!). He apparently is savoring a tasty meal. Zoe is anxious to share with him the joy of french fries. He has no idea what his future holds. Now, if we can just get his paperwork moving, we'll get his future started...

Friday, March 7, 2008

Serenity now....not

OK. The snow day was lovely and gave us some inner peace. The next morning we awoke to an email telling us our I-600 application has been returned to the Dillon staff in Vietnam, to be resubmitted when it is complete. This was paperwork we mailed in October. The new way of submitting for I-600 approval changed and was anticipated to take "about 60 days." Now we're told that the 60 day time period will RESTART when our application is resubmitted in its entirety. Please note that the paperwork required is apparently unavailable until our child's dossier is gathered, which in his orphanage province doesn't happen until Step 8, which we're at now. If this seems confusing, it's because it is. The bottom line is, more delays and disappointment.
It is desperately hard to remain positive today. It is a powerless feeling.
Please pray for us. There are 4 other families in our agency who are stuck in this same delay. We're just trying to get our children home.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

marathons and snowfall

Leave it to Arkansas weather to surprise us.
Brian's marathon on Sunday was a little warmer than he would have expected. He did great, though, and finished with a time he was proud of. Whether that will be a cure for the marathon bug or not will remain to be seen. Either way, according to Zoe, Daddy rocks.


Yesterday was a rainy rotten day; the rotten news we got seemed appropriate for the day. We got a very bizarre email from HoChiMinh reporting that our paperwork was incomplete and that they were soon to return our documents to us. What the !#%? Needless to say, it was a stressful day of trying to get it all straightened out. It isn't yet, but there are hopefully people with Dillon who are trying to figure out exactly what needs completion. Sam felt very very far away yesterday. It was a trying day.

This morning, we awoke to a beautiful carpet of snow and a heavy slow snowfall that continued most of the early hours. It brought with it the most peaceful feeling I have had in a while. It was my day off anyway, and Zoe and I had a snow day together that allowed me to unplug my brain, veg out, and savor the moment. We stayed home, played in the snow, watched a movie, and just in general had a wonderful Zoe and Mommy day. It gave me perspective and peace. It was a welcome feeling. By early evening the snow had melted, but hopefully that serenity will last as long as the snowballs we made and stored in the freezer to show Sam later.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Step 8

We were at Step 8 right before Tet. We're still there. I guess we were optimistic that some of the paperwork might have made it through during their celebrations, but alas.
Hopefully we'll get the Step 9 email we're anticipating in the next week or so. Then, look out, visa applications.
Sam, buddy,we're trying to get there.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Hopefully good news this week!

I understand that February is the shortest month, but it definitely felt like the longest one this year. We knew we wouldn't hear much in the way of updates this month (because of Tet--see post below), and it's been tough just....waiting. We've been told that we can expect updates later this week. We have yet to get an update from Vietnam that puts us at or farther ahead than expected, and in fact most of our updates have been painfully slower than what we'd expect. Maybe our luck will change this week. Fingers crossed!

We received our "travel packet" this past week, which is a 30-page list of instructions that we'll need to apply for our travel visas and some other paperworks tasks in the upcoming weeks. It also includes packing suggestions--no mittens or parkas included there. Toasty Vietnam requires much lighter attire. Sounds appealing right this minute on an cloudy cold Sunday, but don't worry, I'll be whining about the heat when I get there!

A good bit of happy email arrived from a family who traveled to Ninh Thuan this week to pick up their sweet son. Amy said that our Sam was very cute and that her husband held him, and he went to sleep in his arms. It's nice to know he's getting some love! They took pics of him too, so hopefully in the next week or so we'll get to see those little round cheeks again!

In the category of "15 minutes of fame", our group of "Vietmoms" got profiled on a local television station the last two weeks. The segment highlighted our group of moms and the tremendous support we provide for each other during the Vietnam adoption process. Several of us got interviewed about our respective stories. I'm glad to be part of the group, and the moral support during all of this, particularly from those who have been through the same frustrations, has been tremendously uplifting. One also wonders if there might be someone who hears our stories and begins to think about adoption for their own family. Maybe!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Happy Tet!

Well, this weekend is the very significant holiday in Vietnam called Tet. It is their New Year celebration, and it goes on for a couple of weeks. I'm sure when Sam is home with us we'll enjoy celebrating the holidays that come with his home country--it's kind of hard not to call it !%& Tet this year, though, because it introduces a bit longer delay in Sam's paperwork.
We will celebrate a bit tomorrow though, because one of our Vietmoms is having a Tet celebration. We'll celebrate, American-style, by jumping on large, brightly colored, inflated contraptions at Pump it Up. I'm thinking that Sam will find many American traditions a bit odd.
Happy Tet, Sam! We'll bounce for you!

Monday, January 14, 2008

No progress on the paperwork.

Does an update count as an update if you're told you are at the same place you were a month ago? We're still at Step 7. The email we received today told us we will be at Step 8 in "a week or so", and it also warned us that the timeline for THAT step will likely take longer than normal because of the Tet holiday in Vietnam that apparently shuts down the government offices for almost the entire month. Our expectation of January travel got readjusted to February, then to March. Now I suppose March may be optimistic.
Very disheartened tonight.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Happy Birthday, Sam!

Well, little buddy, sorry we couldn't make it to celebrate your birthday. Don't worry--we'll make up for lost time really soon. We are anxiously waiting news on the paperwork progress. Kinda bummed that we're still at Step 7, but hopefully something next week. Hang in there and happy birthday!